Skulduggery Pleasant vs Professor Layton
by tomatoesonstrings
Summary: A bit of fun :3 one-shot


**Warning!-some spoilers in this to do with Professor Layton 3.**

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><p>Skulduggery Pleasant and Valkyrie Cain walked leisurely across the streets of London, chatting merrily to each other. Valkyrie switched on her camera, snapping memories of Big Ben with the click of a button.<p>

'Why do you need pictures of a giant clock?' Skulduggery asked by her side. Valkyrie rolled her eyes.

'Because, there isn't one in Ireland and, it's pretty, I like it!' He sighed and carried on walking, hands in his pockets, her following, when he stopped. Valkyrie almost ran into him.

'What?' He didn't answer, just looked straight ahead. Valkyrie followed his gaze, to see a young boy in blue, a girl slightly younger than her in a dress, and a young man in an enormous top hat walking in Skulduggery and Valkyries direction. Valkyrie raised her eyebrows.

'Skul, are you okay?' The young man the top hat stopped inches away from Skulduggery. Skulduggery folded his arms.

'Layton.'

'Pleasant.' Valkyrie blinked at them.

'You know each other?'

'Indeed we do, young lady,' Layton said to her coldly, not taking his eyes off of Skulduggery, 'you have an apprentice now, Skulduggery?' Skulduggery nodded.

'This is Valkyrie Cain.'

'Ah, yes, I forgot that all you people have strange names.' Valkyrie raised an eyebrow at him.

'Well, I hardly think _Hershel_ is a normal title, is it?' Skulduggery fired back. Layton rolled his tongue around in his mouth, irritated.

'I see you're still acting like a child, throwing around insults.'

'Yes I am toffee-nose.' Layton's eyes narrowed.

'I have tried to be civil, Pleasant, but that was below the belt.'

'Indeed it was.'

'Well, at I've_ got_ something below the belt!' Valkyrie barked a laugh and clapped her hand over her mouth. Skulduggery ground his teeth together.

'Shut up.'

'I shall not.' Valkyrie grinned.

'I see,' she tried to divert the subject, 'So, I see you have apprentices yourself?' Layton nodded at her.

'Yes I do, this is Flora Reinhold and _this_-' he put a hand on the small boys shoulder, '-is Luke Triton.'

Valkyrie smiled at Luke.

'Is he your child?'

'Oh no, he is just a good friend.' Skulduggery coughed.

'Paedophile,' he muttered. Valkyrie nudged his shoulder. Layton shot a glare at him.

'I beg your pardon?' Skulduggery looked at him.

'Nothing.'

'Anyway,' Valkyrie diverted, 'Are you a detective too?'

'Yes I am.' Skulduggery laughed.

'You are _not_ a detective, you wander round places, saying, "_ooh, this reminds me of a puzzle_!",' he said, imitating Layton's English accent.

'That's not true, take that back.'

'Why, what are you going to do? Attack me with hint coins?' Layton sneered.

'Right,' he folded his arms, 'you, Skulduggery Pleasant, are big-headed, cocky and have a bad taste in cars.'

'Says the person whose car looks like a hair-dryer.' Layton smirked and folded his arms.

'Well, at least my car isn't a similar shape to a hearse.' Skulduggery stepped forward, pointing a threatening finger at him. Valkyrie gasped and held him back.

'Don't you _dare_ insult the Bentley!' he said, straightening up. Valkyrie let go of him. Flora sighed.

'Just, just calm down you two.'

'Yes, why don't you listen to your precious little helper?'

'Why don't you back off, skull-face?'

_'Proffessaah_...' Luke said, tugging on Layton's jacket. Skulduggery looked down at him.

'Well, he's annoying.'

'No he is not,' Layton said defensively, patting the boy on the head, 'you're a fine boy, aren't you?'

'...He looks like a blue oompa-loompa.' Skulduggery said.

'Skulduggery!' Valkyrie said.

'What?'

'Apologise now!'

'For what?' Valkyrie raised an eyebrow. Skulduggery sighed.

'Okay-sorry Flora for insulting people in your presence; Luke sorry for insulting you, and Layton,' he looked at him, 'I'm sorry that your hat's so stupid.'

'My hat is of most elegance, it was given to me by my dearest, now gone, Claire.' Valkyrie smiled sympathetically at him.

'I'm sorry to hear that.' Skulduggery looked at her.

'You never say that to me.' She sighed and stood in between them.

'Okay, you obviously hate each other, but think about how similar you two are, you've both lost your sweethearts, you both solve dangerous mysteries and you both are very, very clever.' Skulduggery and Layton looked at each other.

'She's right,' Layton said.

'She is...um...sorry.'

'So am I.' Valkyrie nodded and backed out.

'If I offended you in any way, I am deeply sorry,' Layton said.

'As am I.'

'Shall we just put this silly childish attitude behind us and move on?'

'We should...no more acting like children.'

'No more acting like children.' Skulduggery nodded, and grabbed Layton's hat. The professor reached out a hand to grab it back, but Skulduggery was already running away.

'If you want it,' he called back to him, _'come get it_!' Hershel snarled and dashed after him, Valkyrie putting a palm to her face.


End file.
